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Things I Don't Get // 2

Heidi Shenk "a few things"

A little bit ago, I wrote about things I don't get. Many of you suggested making it a series, and to be quite honest, there are a plethora of things I just don't get, so I thought I'd appease you all. And so I present to you, a second installment of things I don't get.

1 // I just really don't get birds. Birds are total assholes. They just sit wherever they want and take a shit whenever they want. If a person were to do that, they'd get arrested. Even my dog has the decency to find the same patch of grass in the park and go to the bathroom there. But birds? Nope. They just let loose wherever they'd like, leaving their business on your patio furniture, your car, and even sometimes your head. Jerks.

2 // I don't get people that constantly live in fear. Recently, I saw someone tweet that no one is safe anywhere at any time in Baltimore. A little bit dramatic, are we? If we get serious about it for a minute, no one is ever safe anywhere. I could have a meteor rip through my roof and kill me any second. Or, I could drive to the store and get hit by a car. No one is ever actually 100% safe. Scary thought if you choose to focus on that. However, I don't, so I tend to feel safe 99.9% of the time.

3 // I really don't get why City Schools are canceled today. There is half a centimeter of snow on my car and everything else is melting because it is simply too warm for anything to stick. Mind you, if I was still a teacher, I'd be celebrating this. However, after nine years of living in Baltimore, I still don't get why the slightest bit of snow makes people think the world is ending. And don't even get me started with rain. Last week, I needed to run an errand and it had been raining all day. People were driving 45 on I-95 where the speed limit is 65. Whaaaaaaaat. It's rain, people! Drive cautiously, but you don't have to slow down by 20mph. Didn't you know that they design roads and tires to be able to make driving in rain safe?

4 // I don't get people who unfollow and then follow me repeatedly on social media. There are a few of you out there that are guilty, but I won't name names. If I offended you enough to unfollow, why not just keep it that way? Why unfollow and then refollow me four or five times? I really don't get it. I usually unfollow someone because I don't care to follow that person anymore. If I'm really so torturous on Twitter or Instagram that you felt you needed to hit that unfollow button, why come back a fourth and fifth time? I just don't get it.

5 // I really don't get Uber. Maybe that makes me sound like an old, crotchety person that isn't hip and with it. However, it just really doesn't make sense. I get if you're planning on drinking and you don't want to drive. However, why pay someone to do something you can do relatively for free? Andrew and I drive everywhere in Baltimore if it's not walking or biking distance. Public transportation in this city sucks. So, we drive. Why would I want to pay someone to do something that is free to do? Aside from the tiny amount of gas it uses, it is free. And we can almost always find free or cheap parking that would cost us less than it would to hire an Uber. In fact, I think Uber is genius because, let's be honest, saying the word "uber" is sort of fantastic. So they got you! How much cooler does it sound to say "I took an Uber" than it does to say "I drove" just by default of getting to say the word "uber." Same thing, but you just dropped 8 bucks to be able to sound cool.

And that's it for my latest installment of things I don't get. What don't you get? Are you with me on these or not?

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