It's only Tuesday and I'm tired. Some days I feel guilty for saying I'm tired. I know that there are people out there that literally only get a few hours of sleep each night before doing their day all over again. I usually get about seven hours of sleep, but I'm still tired. Today I came home from school, got a snack, and sat down to my to do list.
Just looking at the list made me feel exhausted. There is a lot going on in my life these days and most of the time I'm not even sure how I get everything done. Actually, let's face it, I don't get everything done.
The worst part is that some days I just want to stop. I want to pretend that I don't have to do any of what is on the list. This I struggle with most because a lot of the things on the list are things I absolutely love doing since they revolve around my business. Realistically, it's not that I don't want to do them, it's just that I need a break. Where is the break though? You probably remember my superwoman post a while ago, and truly there is never a break. I work when I get home, eat dinner, and then work some more until I go to bed. On weekends, I often work eight hour days with the rest of the time being spent on running errands and attempting to do some fun things in there as well.
I think the last time I legitimately wasn't busy and could do whatever I damn well pleased was Christmas break.
That's over three months ago.
This week, I'm finishing final preparations for my first big craft fair. I'm not sure how I'll finish. Probably some late nights coming up, but it will get finished.
But it doesn't stop there. It keeps going. And going. And going.
I know that there will be a time when this will all end. Eventually, I'll be able to work an eight hour day and I can stop what I'm doing and say that I'm done working for the day. I can't shut off my computer, put down a drawing pen, put the envelopes back onto their shelves, package the last card, say hi to Andrew as he walks in the door after getting home from work, and enjoy the rest of the evening just as I please.
Eventually. But for now, I'm tired.
"a few things" "keeping it real"Heidi Shenk
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