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How to Prepare for a Snowpocalypse

Heidi Shenk

Baltimore Snowpocalypse

This weekend, the weather experts are predicting a snow storm with totals of around 2 feet with Baltimore and Washington, DC getting hit the hardest. It's no secret that I'm not a fan of winter weather and snow. I spent the first 23 years of my life in lake effect snow regions having grown up in northern Indiana and going to college in Syracuse, New York. And since moving to Baltimore, I've grown accustomed to enjoying more temperate weather.

However, from my many years of snow experiences, I'm quite used to still going about my daily life even if it is snowing, which apparently isn't really a thing once you get south of the Mason-Dixon Line. When it snows in Baltimore, everything stops. Take for instance, six years ago, when we got hit back to back with two storms totaling something like 47 inches. Our street wasn't plowed for a week, and there was so much snow that we just let Lilah frolic off leash in the street. Likewise, a similar storm hit Syracuse in one overnight during my last winter living there and streets were plowed that morning.

Through many a storm, I've learned much about how to prepare for such weather events, and so I thought I'd share a few tips.

1 // Before anything else, stock up on coffee. Obviously, this is an extremely important item and is the first to be checked off my list at the first hint of snow. In addition, if you have whole beans, make sure they are ground before the storm hits. This is serious business, you guys. If power lines get weighted down, you don't want to be in the unfortunate situation of having coffee beans that can't be brewed via a French press or non-electric maker.

2 // Make sure your wine stash is adequate for at least a week. Wine is already an important item. However, let me tell you, if you're trapped in your house for a week because the city can't plow you out, you'll be reaching for that bottle sooner than later.

3 // Check that you have adequate birth control. Let's be honest. First you stock up on wine, and now you're trapped in a house. January storm? Two words-- October baby. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to have to explain that awkwardness to your future offspring.

4 // Buy milk. Obviously, since you don't usually drink milk, it makes total sense to grab a gallon to put in your fridge. This way you're able to see how quickly a gallon of milk goes bad, after it sits in your fridge for a week untouched.

5 // Stock up on tortilla chips and taco ingredients. It would be a true tragedy to have to go a week without tacos. In fact, I can't think of anything worse than having to go without tacos. Plus, if you eat enough tacos, you just might come a little closer to using up all of that extra tp you thought you needed to buy.

And there you have it, my friends. Five great ways to help you prepare for a snowpocalypse. If you're hanging out in the Mid-Atlantic with me, I hope it's not as it's been predicted to be. If you're elsewhere without snow, well, you're just a lucky bastard.

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